God can do great things when you surrender it all and lay everything at his altar. And as the Lord gives me strength to love like him, Ill keep walking with my husband, praying hell rise with me on that day too. Help train Christians to boldly share the good news of Jesus Christ in a way that clearly communicates to this secular age. Youd develop clear goals for your marriage, and discover the ways you enable him not to change. I couldnt relate to anyone. I am older and I feel like if things dont work out then its never going to happen. Ill take care of your husband. (USA) Im a reborn christian and I have been dating this guy for a few months now. I can imagine that many people are thinking in their head that God would never ask us to walk away from a marriage, but bear with me. And that's a very, very good thing. He however does address the believer and their . I surrendered my marriage in every aspect, and prayed for God to strengthen me in submission to my unbeliever husband despite the circumstance (Eph 5:22-33). Whether my marriage endures or not, Christ will come, and his church will rise. We are to remain married to the unbeliever after we accept Christ into our hearts. She trusts God that he is in control. I was 19 and in a parking lot with my husband of two months, our 1962 Volkswagen Bug between us. 7 Little Changes That'll Make a Big Difference With Your I Married An Unbeliever Testimony. After 3 years together I gave my life back to God whole heartedly and agreed to follow him in obedience even if that meant walking away from my marriage. It's in 1 Corinthians 7:12-14. So I did that and I was fine. I dont want to bear that kind of pain, of course. Being married to an unbeliever provides you with opportunities to witness your faith to that person in words and actions, which can lead your spouse to faith in the one true God. I also think God cares deeply for the children in these circumstances. Please prayerfully read through these testimonies and see how God speaks to you as you live with your unbelieving spouse. First, you seem stuck on the notion that you married an unbeliever. The following are Real Life unbelieving spouse testimonies we have gathered for those who are married to someone who doesnt live for the Lord. We review all comments before posting them to reduce spam and offensive content. Not long after that, Dan entered a bout of deep depression, which has affected his views on Louisas faith. When faith is only present via words and not actions, marriages between people who claim . He could have been led by the prophet Elijah and had the pleasure of leading the people back to God, but instead he was led by his wife and her god's "prophets" who polluted his mind and aided in turning his heart completely . It could help them own their faith, if they have one, Louisa says. But it would be far better in the long run to lose some money and gain a few months of heartache than to commit the rest of your life to a marriage God does not want for you. This September marks 28 years since that day, and he hasnt yet joined me in loving Jesus. But as your email reveals, they dont go far enough to say what to do if youve already ignored such advice. 1 child, and 15 years or marriage later he walked out. If you were to say, The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord (Job 1:21)? Little did they imagine how quickly 25 years would pass and that today, theyd have four children, two of them old enough to read Boundless for themselves. The Gospel Coalition supports the church by providing resources that are trusted and timely, winsome and wise, and centered on the gospel of Jesus Christ. He goes through periods, she says, when he is not bothered by it, but then he is suddenly very antagonistic. The faithfulness of God is a mountain, remaining intact even if my marriage doesnt. I clearly knew the Scripture that I shouldnt be unequally yoked [2 Corinthians 6:14] but I thought to myself, How bad can it possibly be?. It will not ultimately save anyone from sin or loneliness or unhappiness. He came to me 2 weeks ago asking if he could come back home as he misses the children. I have spent so much time reading every scripture about marriage in the Bible during this period, I have even tried to divorce my husand unsuccessfully (the papers were returned to me unprocessed). Many times we cling to our husband because we cant face the rejection. I don't know what to do at this point. Even an unequally yoked marriage. to keep God at the forefront of their everyday. Eventually the depression lifted but I still couldnt relate to God, Deb says. The argument against knowingly marrying an unbeliever rests more heavily on a positive, whole-Bible theology of the nature of marriage and its purposes. Let the Lord work on him and he will show you and give you confirmation in your spirit whether to let him back in or not. He has finally decided to go for rehab and therapy but he is still using. I also believed before marriage, that once my fianc and I were married, it would be less than a year that he would discover Jesus and come to faith. Christ is able to help my unbelief, and hes able to help my husband believe. We believe you will learn through what they have to say and will prayerfully find hope through reading what they have lived through and have learned through. Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help it Happen, Start Your Family: Inspiration for Having Babies, Promise Rings and Purity Talks Arent Enough, Tips for Planning a Wedding and Staying Sane, 5 Things You Can Do Now to Prepare for Marriage. Youve even thought at times he might be on the verge of conversion. I wish you a long and fruitful marriage that bears witness to Gods involvement in your life. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. On a deeper level, the way I respond to him, on a good day, is by showing grace. I know God has allowed this to happen to draw me closer to him. Until you are absolutely sure that he has also been born again by the same Spirit alive in you (John 3:5), heed the warning and conviction the Spirit brings (John 16:8). Is it True for Christians That 'Once Saved, Always Saved'? The word says its better to marry to be honourable in Gods eyes. Nothing is impossible for Him. Worse than attending church alone your entire life, while your husband remained at home, is the haunting thought that the man you gave yourself to might spend eternity separated from you and God. I really love him and praying for a miracle! Your life can be a testimony of God's. Of course, if your husband would watch it with you, all the better. You have to submit to His will. But then he started to notice the difference: I was taking it all too seriously is how he would describe it.. You need to speak clearly to him about the issues and invite him into a change processcounseling. God is very good at recycling our mistakes into good, she says. 13 responses to Unbelieving Spouse Testimonies. THE ARDUOUS JOURNEY OF BEING MARRIED TO A NON-BELIEVING MAN, How God Uses This Ministry to Help Marriages, What Cindy Wright Has Learned About Marriage, What Steve Wright Has Learned About Marriage, ISSUES OF ENVY AND LONELINESS AND LOW SELF ESTEEM, MISMATCHED MARRIAGE: When One Spouse is an Unbeliever. Most people in the world have no experience of lasting joy in their lives. If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. Married to unbeliever . Even if what you really want to do is work away. a study and testimony site about marriage, divorce and remarriage. God showed me that I had once gone after my husband before, in an attempt to share the gospel with him and bring him to Jesus and I ended up married to an unbeliever. So long as you cling to Jesus, he will be with you (Matthew 28:20). I felt the Lord asked me would I forgive him if it meant his salvation? While God was gracious to us, and brought me to a saving knowledge of Christ prior to our wedding date, let me be clear: to marry an unbeliever is to sin against God (1 Corinthians 7:39). Im so glad you did because I want to assure you and encourage you that while those articles speak to where you are, they were not written to condemn you. I speak at length about the cost of change in my book, Nine Critical Mistakes Most Couples Make, and what it takes to change a troubled marriage. He was not a Christian before we got married either. It most certainly does. Get your FREE eBook about deconstruction: 'Before You Lose Your Faith'. That was a couple of years ago. Simon and Deb met at Bible college, married quickly and almost immediately had their first child. I hope you will heed those reservations and reconsider. Wait in God! Or do I believe being a Christian meant I would have a happy marriage, obedient children, and a nice place to live? unequally marriage has married i an unbeliever. I was saved on April 1, 1980. I want to handle this matter in a Christian way, but do not want to compromise my standards. That first Christmas, I saw an ad for a womens event at the local church, she says. Youve admittedly made some mistakes. To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. VIC, Anglican Diocesan Services, Canberra, ACT, Sydney Missionary and Bible College, Croydon, NSW, St Andrew's Anglican Church, Roseville, NSW, Grace West Anglican Church, Glenmore Park and Silverdale, NSW, NSW Court Chaplains Association, Sydney, NSW, Anglican Deaconess Ministries, Sydney, NSW, St Philip's Anglican Church, Eastwood, NSW, Argyll Law, Illawarra NSW, remote work considered, Minchinbury Anglican Church, Minchinbury, NSW, The Anglican Schools Corporation, Middleton Grange, NSW, Riverbank Christian Church, Launceston, TAS, City on a Hill Wollongong, Wollongong, NSW, St James Anglican Church, Turramurra, NSW. This is a recipe for ultimate disaster. Have you ever sat down and asked a friend what its like the good and the bad? Finally, what should you do since he doesnt want to change? He eventually set off on his own journey to explore spiritual matters, which ended with him embracing atheism more formally. Then, pray for wisdom in how to approach him and, with Gods guidance and Godly counsel, take action. Last week he asked to come to church with us, which I agreed to. You may live most of your married life with an unbelieving husband. In the next part he deals with one who is married to an unbeliever. Submityourquestion to himat TheRelationshipDoctor@gmail.com. The following two weeks he told me I was crazy and even screamed at me in front of our one year old son. The resulting 34-year marriage has had its share of bumpy bits, but Mia believes she has grown in faith because of it. Here are nine things you should know about revival and the history of revivals in America. The first step if you are a believer who likes an unbeliever is to resolve it in your heart that you will obey God no matter what. I have learnt so many lessons about submission, holding my tongue, being encouraging etc to my husband but while I am still safely dwelling in the shadow of the almighty. This was the main way that people became spiritually single in the New Testament. The Keller Center for Cultural Apologetics helps Christians show unbelievers the truth, goodness, and beauty of the gospel as the only hope that fulfills our deepest longings. Finally, even if your husband never comes to know Christ personally, you can trust Gods sovereignty to ultimately redeem your situation; to bring beauty from ashes. If you marry an unbeliever most likely your children will be unbelievers as well. But I think its only right when God opens that door and a truly repentant man returns to you. Your life can be a testimony of Gods redeeming love, and were told that your behavior can win him over without a word. His newest booksare titled The Relationship Doctor's Prescription for Healing a Hurting Relationshipand The Relationship Doctor's Prescription for Living Beyond Guilt. She knows that being married to a non-Christian has curbed her involvement in church and Bible study, which she only attends when John is away for work, and she does her financial giving in secret. But the faithfulness of God is a mountain, remaining intact even if my marriage doesnt. Your husband would be quite an exception if he really wanted to change. He who is faithful does not grow weary (Isa. If someone is not building you up in Christ they are bringing you down. And as the Lord gives me strength to love like him, Ill keep walking with my husband, praying hell rise with me on that day too. ISSUES OF ENVY AND LONELINESS AND LOW SELF ESTEEM, MISMATCHED MARRIAGE: When One Spouse is an Unbeliever, THE ARDUOUS JOURNEY OF BEING MARRIED TO A NON-BELIEVING MAN, 10 PRAYERS THAT I PRAYED FOR MY HUSBAND. I didnt tell him for four months because I was scared of what hed think, she says. There is a bride who will rise up in fearless and humble beauty (Rev. Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. I have been on two dates with him and I can see myself with him and I want it soooo badly its not even funny. Marriage is no savior. She was married at 21 and quickly started a family with John, which gave her more reason to stick with the marriage when the hard times came which they inevitably did. Dont compromise. Answering these questions helps me to lay down my marriage, look at the nail-scarred hands of my Savior, and cry, I believe; help my unbelief! (Mark 9:24). But I get sad because Ive come to realize that Im unable to have children the other day he made an agreement with me that he would go to church and I was so excited to hear that but he had worked the night before and was to tired to wake up in the morning. I had a deep desire to serve God with my whole heart and to live a life for Him. My eyes were not always on God, I rebelled and turned away from God to live for myself. I fell into the trap of marrying an unbeliever. Even if my marriage is lost, and even if my husband never bends his knee to Jesus, the call to faithfulness will never leave me. In both the Old Testament and the New, we're commanded to "go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty" (2nd Cor 6:17-18). Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy .". (NIGERIA) I can imagine your hurt and pain but PLEASE, I am sure this is a way the Lord is using to bring back your home. She's your wife now, which means it's God's will that you stay married to her, if she's willing to stay. When I was planning my wedding, I was terrified of being perceived as one of those brides. Please pray for this guy, even if it leads to no where that you want as far as dating. The website for Keith and Sarah Condies marriage course and the Mental Health & Pastoral Care Institute website. But soon I began to realize my new husband didnt share my hope in Christ. Romans 8:28 ESV / 3 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. That superpower is the faithfulness of God. Please advise me on the right way to live under these circumstances. I feel sick to my stomach after reading these articles. Please share your testimony with us by going to the CONTACT US section. It has often been said that the woman's God-given biological ability to bear children denotes an innate compassion and nurture unique to her. 5:1), humble (Eph. But, it seems like that's the path that we're heading. That is all I am asking. God can only save you but not your spouse. I don't want to consider divorce (I know God hates divorce). Marriage is a sacred covenant that joins two people together in one flesh ( Matthew 19:5 ). 7:29). The Bible does ask us to submit to our husbands and in the same sentence it tells our husbands to love their wives like they love the Lord. Married to an unbeliever. Is it wise to pursue medical school if I desire to marry? During that time I knew if I had begged him he would have come home, but I have not felt this is right. However, a marriage between a believer in Christ and an unbeliever presents some unique challenges. I pray for you that God helps you to guard your heart. I was determined to get married, so I created an Ishmael, says Mia, referring to the biblical Abrahams son with Hagar, servant of his wife Sarah. I was in trauma, suicidal it was just really hard not to kill myself, she says. Get Updates From TGC's Women's Team In Your Inbox. If a child was being abused we would of course help them and take them to a place of safety and the scripture would be overridden. Both mention that there is not a lot of support for couples like them, and churches dont know how to treat them. I have read many testimonies of restored marriages where it seems the emotional abuse still takes place and it really upsets me. My greatest concern is that your fianc does not know or love Christ. But we need to be precise at this point, so that we do not attempt to protect a clear commandment (you cannot marry an unbeliever; see 1 Cor. When she eventually gave her life to God, she couldnt bring herself to tell Dan. I never gave up my faith in God but I turned my back on living according to the word. If he does not share your captivation with Christ, you and he will always stand on unlevel and unsteady ground as you carry out your vows in marriage. My husbands pushback against what I believe as a Christian forced me to examine myself. He doesn't give instruction to the unbeliever because they do not submit to God and it would be pointless. God provided somewhere for him to stay. However you need to repent of ignoring God, and don't do it again. Copyright 2023 The Gospel Coalition, INC. All Rights Reserved. In the morning he returned home and I kicked him out. I am determined not to divorce, and Im reluctant to reverse our decision (and surgery) about not having children since the reason I decided not to still remains: Im too afraid to raise a child without a Christian husband. 8:2829)? But they believe that, contrary to expectation, they actually have a stronger marriage because of their experience. Whether its in a romantic relationship, a friendship, at work, or in an interaction with a family member, too often we react when instead we should respond. Based on the Bible, we see that . My dearest sister that was more than 25 . Verse 14. Answer (1 of 16): Ignoring God's words is not wise. Redeeming Love, by Francine Rivers, How to Pray When He Doesnt Believe by Mo Tizzard, to name a few. Before I was a Christian I would roll my eyes at anyone who mentioned the name Jesus in not a swear word kind of way. Together they created Boundless in 1998. I am a Christian, my husband is also but not born again. When we married I was a young Christian, and I believed I was marrying a fellow Christian. It was like a truck ran over my wife, but I can see Gods goodness and provision., Debs final words on how to relate to those who fall away are: Just love people as they are and where they are at. The second thing you must do is to truly come to terms with what you believe the Bible says about Christians dating or . You can unsubscribe in one click, and we will never share your email address. But I thank God he has kept me and my son in his safe dwelling away from the battle in my husbands life. It looks to me that he wants to be with us, but something is holding him back to commit. 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