Seriously . ? Im in a long distance relationship myself, like we're in two different continents, it kind of ***** but its cool at the same time! So, with that being said, if he wants to go out with his buddy once a week, its fine. But I would care if he went with women , J. like he would not like M. sitting drinking or dancing with men. Yes and sometimes do, but with drinking and driving and hangovers not options for M. as a mom, (by my own choice), it's rare. She may be looking for love or just hungry for attention. Granted we shouldn't keep people on a leash and there are a lot of things going on with a LDR but how can you truts someone like that? You are still an individual. I can tell you as a man, that he appreciates that, it shows trust, it shows that you are trying to grow in the relationship, and it shows that you love and care that he take time for himself. I have done a few "ladies' nites" with some of the other moms from my son's school. Also we fully disclose everything before we even do something so we will ask the other. I think if your spouse or boyfriend does mind you doing that, that is what is important.not what others think. ahhh thats the one=) I haven't been there since January so it was a nice change. Most chicks out here don't go out to bars as singles. She may be loud and obnoxious, overly flirtatious, and quite often visibly tanked. yes i need a kick in the butt tonight! What is good for one family isn't always what's good for another. If they're traveling for a friend or family member's bachelor or bachelorette party, for instance, you might not be invited, so leaving you behind doesn't mean that they're pulling away. I don't understand how people have a problem with hanging out and not to flame here, at least to M., it screams insecurity. He is free to go where he wants and so am I but we make choices to do and go places that honor our marriage and protect it at all costs. I trust him to make choices that won't betray my needs and wishes (this wasn't always true). He knew that I was not going to be hooking up with anyone. NO. If he is out all night having "fun" and doing all this ****, hes not up to the challenge for being your boyfriend. If I wanted to go out to a bar with a bunch of girlfriends my husband would tell M. to have a good time and same for himthey guys go for a drink after work, sure join them (J. let M. know so I don't have dinner waiting). I did have one guy ask M. to dinner after the annoying compliments you hear at such establishments and I replied that I had a boyfriend and he kept talking but kept asking how I was allowed to go out without my boyfriend. Nah, I've never hung out at a bar alone. I never liked this part of a relationship. he just seemed super down about how his life is going, is this why i might be feeling so neglected by him? He is the most amazing person in the world and I just don't know what to do. Does that make sense? Would you or should I be bothered by the fact that she seems to want to go there without me? and remind him that you both can talk about anything! We dont live together, we arent married. if its a guys night out and its like 10 buddys sure, if hes going by himself, somethings a foot.Going out with your buddys is homosocial behavior, A typical of men. As I mentioned above, he may just need some time to himself. People need to stop being so sketchy and selfish. Do I end things? answers from Chicago on October 30, 2008. I don't say that he should stay with me all the time, but he can send me a message from time to time. But he lets M. dance with who ever when we go out J. so he doesn't have to get out on the floor. what do i do? I arrived alone and I left alone. "It likely means that they don't want you in family photos and/or on their family's mind. If I had asked questions, and made a couple comments, I am sure I could have had a hundred thousand posts by now too. Kelly1988 You have to trust him because you have no choice. Yes, A LOT in his profession. It was tough for the first several months because of fear she might cheat like my 1st gf. BUT, remember, he is out, don't go ballistic if you don't hear from him, and leave him alone while he is out. This is a question that I have asked a few women and the answer is always "mindblowing". I do not care at all. But don't be anxious, you are good enough and I'm sure he loves you like you love him. Am I allowed to go to them on my own? pastoralcucumbers The campaign, which includes a series of playful and humorous ads, aims to position Tinder as a fun and lighthearted platform for meeting new people. I prefer to go out with himbut we both believe that it's important to do things on our own too. In my youth I dated a bar owner for six years and the drama surrounding that (and every OTHER BAR I've ever been in) was enough to turn M. away from that scene for life. My friends are like family to M. and I get so much warmth and strength from them. You have no clue what rules the other person thinks are in play. She was always open about it, never tried to hide it, and if I asked if she had a good time she would tell me about it. I toned down my friendliness over the years to make him more comfortable. Bars are often pick-up spots and can offer temptation for someone who's on the fence in their relationship.". Do I think it's "wrong" for other ladies and men to do that? he gets high during the week as well, i love him but this stuff is taking away from the love he is suppose to be giving me. It isn't driven by insecurity. You know when you are dating someone who cares and you know when you are dating a player. I always get the excuse of the phone dying or it fell but yet I can see he is online on Facebook etc it's always the weekend that his battery has died when he's out I don't blame you for stressing I have this situation every weekend it's at the point where I've had enough. 14. If not, he'll just call you the next morning and explain his night.. you know? My SIL and I have this conversation a lot as she feels differently about it than I do. You need to have confidence and break up with him, move on with your life and be with someone that actually appreciates you. We care about each other but we aren't crazy. if your partner does these six activities without you. He he knows your always in he feels safe. If he doesn't give you the reaction your after. I have talked to too many girls and guys that bitterly recalled how one drink too many let their inhibitions lower enough that they got too huggy and hormones took over ending a relationship. Don't listen to the people commenting below they are giving you the advice, they "think" is right. . If I should meet another man, I see no reason not to remain friends with this man. My husband has a music studio where he produces musicians so he is particularly respectful when he is conducting business and always makes certain I am comfortable without any craziness on my part. That's called a rule change. 9. Sorry - J. reality in my world - you haven't made a LIFETIME commitment to your boyfriend - hence the fact he is bf and not dh. If you try to control things he will be running for the hills. IMO, this is one of those make or break moments of a relationship. Which causes you to start to question yourself (like M. today LOL) reading too much into it you know? FOr M. it will always depend on trust. To M., that is playing with fire. Does He Wish To End It? This could be a sign of cheating because he is projecting onto you. He asked it so much I feel he was thinking I was lying to him. To use this example: "I don't want to be . "[I]f you find your partner making excuses to not have sex and instead they pleasure themselves or watch porn, this may be a sign something is up with your relationship," Hershenson says. It depends on the context. It would be one thing if your SO is telling you where you can and cannot go. 1. Yuck. ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, 21 hours ago, ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, Monday at 07:16 PM, ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, Monday at 07:24 PM, ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, Monday at 07:29 PM, By I think as long as a couple is totally happy and equal that's all that matters. I think the way it is going is great and that in time you won't worry about it and your relationship will deepen because of it.. Some people trust because they are good people and lack experience and it's just the right thing to do. To get drunk. maybe get some counseling or something before you make a mistake and let your insecurities get in the way. He is allowed to go where he wants. Whether they're truly checked out and just can't be bothered to end things or there's something else going on, you're likely going to have to talk about it together in order to move forward. By To a bar he goes to frequently and before he met with you, would meet up with a lot of girls, some of which are a lot younger and they still frequent this bar. but again, i think you're in a completely different place. He has never given M. a reason to worry about that even if he went with females. Started December 23, 2022. Everyone on this site is so over dramatic! Not all of your friends or theirs will definitely be in relationships at the same time, so it's not necessarily a red flag if they plan dinner out with one of their single friends, but if hanging out with their single friends without you starts taking priority over spending time with you, that might mean that something is wrong. I love him but he doesn't seem to put any effort. But I get it. It was a relief not going anymore. If you've been using dating apps, you've probably encountered the frustrating phenomenon of potential matches saying "I'll get back to you" and then never following through. Started January 23, By You likely question yourself asking whether it's something about you . I don't want to ask for his attention. Now I don't know how he would feel or a possible future boyfriend would feel. Waiting outside the bar for your friends is also weird. But my husband trusts M.. Started February 23, By New episodes air Mondays on Facebook. He should be calling you It makes me panic. He has fun and I know he isn't sleeping around with his female friends when he goes. =). To M. it seems like it's J. some women who are attracted to women, not the majority. It would be nice, thats why its called a relationship! Our relationship as a family is great, we all get along, ex-wife included. He aint changing especially if you arent there. before we were married my wife went out with her friends every couple of weeks to the bar seen. My husband and his friends will have a "guys" weekend once a year. Often she would be out till 2am or so.. During a casual dinner with three other couples, the guys repeatedly implored my boyfriend to go with them to a strip club. #2 The desperado. Right now, it seems he's being attentive to your needs. Big difference. In my circle of friends, I am the cook, I know what it feels like. If your partner doesn't seem interested in having you involved in trip planning or is actively working on plans for trips without you, that could be a sign that something's going on, psychotherapist Kimberly Hershenson tells Romper in an email exchange. Rather than saying, "My girlfriend wants to go out alone with her friends," and feeling like you're losing her, work on deepening the attraction, love and respect that she feels for you. FLirt but come home to M.. You know? If there are variables such as having a partner do you over while you stayed at home or have done someone over yourself, it is very understandable to have this trust issue and coming to terms with allowing it will take some time. I think the fact that he asked your permission first shows he's being conscientious about your needs and wants. jwrunner81 Here are 3 ways to not be jealous when your boyfriend goes out. He asked for nothing in return. S. My husband doesn't like it when I go out to bars or clubs without him but if I want to go hang out with the girls every so often I can and I do go. Even I have had experience with these and I can tell you how inappropriate it is to not hear from your boyfriend. I know that no matter who my husband meets, talks to, get hit on by, that he is devoted to M. and my kids and he feels the same way about M.. Each family and marriage/relationship should be striving to find its own balance which has its foundations resting upon fundamentals such as love, trust, hard word and communication. We purchased the gift cert from the bar so we were seated in that section. Most importantly, he calls you when he gets home. I did indeed go and sit next to people I hadn't seen in months including some single men and proceeded to hug and be picked up by every guy I knew (oh how I love this bar, I'm 6 foot- so its rare to get the hug where people pick you up in the air and you get to feel like a girl lol) so anyway I do this every so often (usually once a month when my boyfriend has his Irish meeting, we'll take one car after dropping Emmy off with her dad, and I'll go here while he does his meeting) and usually my boyfriend will meet M. out or I will meet him out at some point in the night and we'll hang out with friends and have fun, but for a good portion I'm happily talking to whoever I want to, not gender biased or relationship status biased. Do what you feel is right. if your bf is okay with it then there's no problem. Started Monday at 06:41 PM, By Happy couples need time apart and to. I've seen a lot of posts on here recently about whether its ok for a married or committed person to go to lunch/bar with single person of the opposite sex (or same gender depending on preference) and it had M. wondering if you guys/girls ever go to a bar or an establishment where other singles are and talk to new people? about 60-70 % of all females at Los Angeles bars are already taken and there with girlfriends or they are actually there with their boyfriends lmao. He even texts me when he is out, and calls or texts when he gets home. Don't make the same mistake I did. That is exactly what's going on with me. Ziff Davis, LLC BBB Business Review. I am sorry, it is hard to deal with, i know. At some point it stop all of us out of here undertaking 2am. I guess I J. can't really imagine being in a relationship with someone that I didn't trust enough to be "allowed" to hang out with the opposite sex. So back to your question. I would personally feel like a prisoner if he didnt "allow" it and would find it unhealthy. If you have an open relationship that should be discussed . Seinfeld (/ s a n f l d / SYNE-feld) is an American television sitcom created by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld.It aired on NBC from July 5, 1989, to May 14, 1998, over nine seasons and 180 episodes.It stars Seinfeld as a fictionalized version of himself and focuses on his personal life with three of his friends: best friend George Costanza (Jason Alexander), former girlfriend Elaine . (You won't be happy if your wife is gone every night.) Also, you've officially met a women who has no attraction whatsoever to other women!! However, I understand about being concerned that he gets drunk, maybe has problems w/self-control.. Wouldn't dream of it. A bar you've been to with him and women are frequently coming to say hi to him, hugging him, getting his attention. Whether he is hooking up with another girl or not, I'd question why he would be drunk often. The veteran drinker is usually front and center, taking shots or downing beers like one of the guys. It's totally not like that. It's good "guy" time doesn't bother M. Now, if it was a strip club he was going to, my answer would then be no :). Then ask yourself if he really cares what you do. Go out one night and iignore his calls till the next day and then just say oh sorry baby I was wicked drunk. The constant fighting wouldn't help either, and I'd say that the relationship could be headed towards a breakup unless he wants to pay more attention to you. Did he actually love me? you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. We are all the product of our experiences. So my wife and I go out to this bar pretty much every Wednesday night for Karaoke. I am a very touchy feely person. And I have to laugh at that "allowed to go out without your boyfriend" line you posted.sounds like that fellow wouldn't have been good boyfriend material, even if you had been single! Ask him like if he could give you some pictures of beautiful places, or video calls you so it feels like you are there together. Me and my boyfriend have talked about how we felt several times that we trust eachother so much to the point where if i dont talk to him for three days and i know hes at some crazy parties, i wont feel so worried and we trust each other so much that we both openly said that we could kiss other people if we wanted because truly we both know it wouldnt be real and that we love each other. What are your feelings on that? aweeeeeeee you're bf sounds amazing ! If they're going out far more often than they ever used to, it might not be a good sign, relationship-wise. He never mentions any friends and doesn't. I think it's fantastic you are stretching yourself out of your comfort zone. Having a "Guys" night. In a recent study, researchers have made significant progress in this area. Being married does not mean you are a Monk or not a part of the world. Because it shows you trust him. He would probably be pretty darn red too. Sure, you're at home Jonesn' about it, but that's ok you'll make it through, and he'll appreciate it. You are going to be better off for it, and I think that rocks. It's okay to relax. Short answer: yes, it's okay. Well, the other day i decided it is completely ridiculous. I feel any interactions should be allowed but also feel that if you're in a committed relationship and someone has an issue with a particular person your relationship comes first obviously and while you won't be "controlled" by your spouse you should definitely take their opinion into account and compromise and adjust behavior accordingly. It wouldn't matter who it was it would be that they don't want to be around us that would bug M., ya know? With us its always all good because we know with who, where and why the other person is going out. I guess it's all in how you carry yourself. Part of your discomfort about your boyfriend going out may be because you wish you were doing the same. So I decided to grab a drink at the local dive bar that I love. I like how you worded it. going out alone indicates infedlity " potentially" or alcoholism. I guess I'm J. a prude, then, because I believe there are better places to hang out than bars and that if you are married or committed and have children, your time is better spent with them. I have more guy friennds than girlfriends. 1. But I've certainly made myself a margarita at home alone :) If I were to do that, or my husband were to do that, I personally would think that's odd -- or 'something' is up (due to our personalities, not because we don't trust one another). And you allow that? call M. old fashion, but have not been to a bar with my husband or with out in 15 years. And if I'm going for a walk, to the grocery store, the gym, or out with my best friend, I make sure he knows where I'm going, when I'm going, and when I'm on my way home. Method 2 Keeping Yourself Occupied 1 Organize a night out with your own friends. She puts relationship on hold. were going to be living together before too long, so I am just letting him enjoy his time right now and trying to relax about it as difficult as it is not to worry. You met him at a bar. My boyfriend didn't call or text me in 4 days I don't know what to think ar My bf hasnt text or called me, in 3days Should I call him or Would a girl call you ugly (jokingly) if she actually thought you were? You wanna pay me 500 bucks an hour I can ask you as many questions as you feel like answering. Just get him chipped like a spaniel at the vet so you can track him. This would allow him to distance himself from unpleasant feelings and dissociate from the discomfort of underlying mental problems. A lot. When youre in a relationship, only YOU know the rules that you have. What does it mean when a man call & text you several times every day eventh My Boyfriend doesn't like if I call him from his name. he possibly has a minor drinking problem They got married a year later. You have a good one it appears. But just letting your SO know where youre going or what youll be doing is very simple. I do what I CHOOSE to do. I go out with my girlfriends, usually a dinner and drinks at the local dining place. We don't go to meet new people--we go to have girl time. My bf did all these things, too, but now he's not. Suggest your wife that she can have time for herself too. Price: $18. 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I have lots of friends, male and female - and I like people, male and female. No. :). My bf WAS texting me from the bar, but that has tapered off. Answer: I think you'll both be happier if you let her go out with friends within reason, of course. We didn't speak since 6. Learn to trust your partner. Decided it is completely ridiculous yourself Occupied 1 Organize a night out with himbut we believe... My son 's school seemed super down about how his life is going out alone indicates &... Going to be who, where and why the other moms from my son 's.. That & my boyfriend goes to bars without me x27 ; M very, very jealous when my husband or with out in 15.. What 's good for one family is n't sleeping around with his female friends when he gets.... Just seemed super down about how his life is going out get in the world and I have a. And strength from them often than they ever used to, it seems he & # x27 s. 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