My problem however is not that either of our pets are his or mine or whether or not we love them. This dog has become spoiled. My bfs dog (hes never had pets & bought the dog for his kids when he & his ex wife divorced bc he thought it would make the divorce easier for the kids.I know, terrible idea! She was the alpha over him. The dog whines to be requested to get let out or other who knows. Calls her a good girl and constantly gives her treats and loves on her. Incorrect. But with a baby on the way and the stress on my sanity Is it wrong to ask him to get rid of him? Enough said. Even said we should sleep separate! I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I mean , they have their own beds, just like I do, and its not going to be mine. Where am I supposed to go to? She would agree to the boundaries and just like your boyfriend, would be upset and sad that shes punishing the dog by following what she promised to do? is at least considering moving on. I think that you are correct! However, My boyfriend sets ZERO boundaries for his dog. Ill give you the benefit of the doubt and hope that there is a legitimate reason against him. She said she would compromise and not let the dog on human spaces. I admire you,I know I will never put up with this situation. She Says its either her and the baby or my dogs. Mind you my husband NEVER helps me with the dog. Like a lot of you, anything you put in your mouth she expected a piece of it. if he refuses to even try & compromise in this kind of way then i say cut That means, they just have to bark and misbehave and she will cave! Even when I came home from grocery shopping, he would already try to steal items out of my grocer bags!! It is nice, and I dont dislike it, but the problem is the hair. I must urge all pet lovers here to please openly discuss with your partners to be your obsession with your pets and your inability to prioritise. Aggressive to other pets in your household and other dogs. Not to mention how he cuddles and talks to his dog all evening. At first I had to fight to sit by my husband. Hes started getting depressed because the dogs are more important than him, so I dont love him, after 32 years of marriage. What I wanna emphasize to you is that your family is a pack. There is no chance in hell after half a decade of being with someone would i let them disrespect me that way. If I say something the response I always get is, well its just like having a child. My husband was a traveler and barely home so he insisted I get a cat(I am a cat lover, he is a dog lover). My partner says she understands but she really doesnt. The dogs get more hugs and attention and conversation than I do. ..please i need advice. Im ready to move out into my own apartment and my boyfriend is choosing to stay with his parents and the animals ugh. Weve even tried fixing it but he chews through everything we try to fix it with. I say someone who cant stand dog hair isnt a true dog lover. There have been instances while I have not been home that my dog will pee on the floor when he wants her to go outside or if he walks into the room (this has happened 5 times over 2 years). Everything we want to plan and do revolves around him and how long her parents can watch him. She cages her alk day an pays no attention to her what can i do. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. I have tried about everything possible and still tonight he says hes not getting rid of the dog. Wouldnt you have seen it if you stayed for the weekend at his place? I asked him to get rid of her more than once. Dust and pet dander are the main triggers. My Australian shepherd is just a puppy and has done some destructive chewing, which he was properly punished for, but he didnt start this habit until I met my boyfriend. We are talking about moving in together and everything else besides the dog is great, but Im thinking about not moving in with him because of the dog. The kids knock his dog bowl water out which I try to check as much as possible to refill and if partner comes home and sees water missing he gets mad with me Ive it basically saying Im neglecting his dog which makes me really angry. I am so glad I found this site because I have nobody to vent to. Its unfortunate and I wish I could fix him.. but I cant. !.my brother had a beautiful border collie which he allowed to get bored and she started to round up the neighbours children.he was going to get her put to sleep so I took her in.shes a fabulous dog and I love her to bits.my boyfriend hates her however and now doesnt want to move in with me because of the hair,the smell,the noise etcIm guttedreally devastated.what should I do? I think instead of writing bad things about dogs you have to think about your loved ones not the dogs. You and your partner made a promise to love each other not to split for a freaking animal. I remember one time telling the dog to get off the couch to go get a treat from him in the kitchen, and his reply was She doesnt have to shes the queen! Really glad I found this page. Nessa, the dog nipping at my kid would have been the last straw. Fine. So then we bought a tether type thing to chain her up. I used to love dogs, never again. Which ended up in a giant arguement of me supposedly not loving her or respecting her because I stated I no longer would take care of her dog. Im a woman, and I agree with you.. Im losing my mind. I have always thought to myself that I could never get together with someone who had ever been cruel to animals, so I broke up and stayed on my own reflecting for a few days. He does that too? You cant change him but you can change yourself. HOW IN THE HELL IS THIS WORTH IT??? In the present day this has stopped now he just pets her and says good night to her. ! I dont care. I grew up with fairly big dogs, including a German Shepherd and a Samoyed. I dont get it, and even if he is spending time with me the dog just stands there and cries staring at him, so he always gets up and goes to he dog, leaving me. Dogs need routine, and the more you change that routine, the more likely they are to act out. Seems that its easier for women to get their man to do this than the other way around (in general that is). After you fall in love with someone, its kind of a package deal. Its recommended not to let him walk off-leash and roam. IT tried biting our baby!!!!!! When getting a pet it should be with the intention of it having a forever home. Your allergies seem much more extreme but I have minor allergies to my boyfriends dog and it makes my nose itch its so frustrating. I am to the end of my rope and sanity with the dog. I dont know what to do! I did agree to having the dog with us because I dont like to see any animal suffer as I am too a dog lover. I can certainly feel your pain. I spent the first two months cleaning her hair out of everything. Then my bf would get mad at me for making unreasonable demands ie, basically just wanting the dog to be trained. Is there anyway to get the min pin out of our beds? He can sleep through her barks on the weekend while I cant, (light sleeper) he doesnt clean up after her, when she bit my daughters hand because she once again got excited (my boyfriend lets Mulan bite on his hand ever since she was a baby baby) he doesnt take her out in the morning before he goes to work so I end up being woken up by Mulans high pitched bark/screams. That it was her pet that I had no desire to have or care for and felt it was her responsibility to be taking care of her pet that SHE wants. Hi Elena, OMG I could have written your post, word for word! They do NOT understand human speech. The dog cant stand up for himself but you can. She said, He loves (emphasis) his dog! Love is like a bank account, you make deposits and withdrawals. I have a Boston terrier her name is Bailey I have had her for about 5 years.. And no, like me, your not losing your mind. Recently moved to Oklahoma and theyve had to become outside dogs. We have to take my car everywhere because his is so full of hair. Pet lovers, this is not how to make your non pet-loving spouse become an animal person. The good majority of comments from women are posted out of emotion rather than from a rational point of view. Unless royalty. Things worked out for me as I hope to you guys. Another issue is, I have been teaching the kids to not touch the dog during meal time to avoid the dog getting defensive and hurting the kids. They think its ok to be controlling but dont like it when that is challenged for good reasons. Then he needs to go? Which I totally dislike because I fear for my baby. If a veterinarian has completed a thorough exam on the dog, and says the dog is medically unwell and it cant be fixed, and that in their professional opinion the dog is vicious, then euthanasia should be considered. I was very harsh dragging her by the leash when she wouldnt come and spanking her what she pottied in the house.the day I got her for shots she was so small and not very healthy that she got sick. I rescued her without the permission of my spouse and we have been fighting ever since. All my boyfriend has to say about it is that Beau acts weird around him. He thinks his dog is just fine. The dog sleeps in bed with him, begs constantly, has severe anxiety and follows us everywhere needing constant reassurance & attention, he cannot relax and breathes heavily and claws at your arm if you arent petting him 24/7. Is there any hope for this relationship? Since we have been together 7 years now, problems have started popping up. When you said it doesnt shed, I wondered. Doesnt see our kids. I have decided to make my 10 yr old sleep in the basement room so that his barking doesnt wake my husband up and hopefully thatll help some. I made myself very clear that I would not care for her dog in any manner and that if she wanted to keep it she needed to care for it. I cant imagine doing that or giving up our relationship. Her loss and my gain. Before we got married my DH slept with his dog. I think we should both let them go and find someone who loves us for who we are and accepts our pets x. I dont agree with how the dog is treated but please realize.A DOG IS NOT A PERSON AND TO THINK THAT THE WAY A DOG IS TREATED WILL REFFECT HOW A CHILD IS TREATED IS LUDICROUS. If the dog tends to pee or poop everywhere and shedding issues, its better to restrict the critical areas in your house like the dining room, living room, bedroom, etc. A dog would love me unconditionally and be there by my side through everything. and when I mention it to him, the comments are always, what did they do? I seriously clean for nothing. When he does try he acts sad the whole time like Im mean and hes done a mean thing to her. STOP being so self involved and worrying about your own feelings. Also I agree with Michael that your dog not being socialized is an extremely bad thing. I would think about if I wanted someone who clearly resents your pet so much in your life. The dogs have never been vaccinated, dont get flea treatments or anti worm treatments and are taking up the entire couch and other human furniture and everything is covered in hair. I see, so the dog wasnt at his place when you met so that problem didnt come until later. He got a Yorkie I didnt want. Hes constantly in the kitchen looking for food to eat! Im glad I found this. She wants to please and have my approval, and I researched ways to train, so I think most bad dogs have bad lazy owners. Because your unhappiness is only your fault sweetheart. If the dog cant be cured, and is posing a danger to you and others, then it is right to take a stand. I refuse to leave with a dog that stinks like s***. Being around him is never fun. since I left my partner my dog is so much more relaxed and only now I realise the reason why his own dog was an absolute nervous wreck, he said it was due to her being an ill treated rescue dog but actually now I believe she was warning me of something very dangerous considering what I know now about that man. ! For god sakes! Well the plot has thickened. If its the relationship that is also at issue since this aspect of her personality never was previously know, is there someone that can keep the pet while you change your financial situation? My question to you is: Your pet surely is not a happy animal in his given situation. He even send me a text telling me I threaten him with the dog and he threw the ring in the trash. That would make it an activity for both of you together and she may see and have a better understanding of what constitutes poor dog behaviors people enroll in the training to create boundaries. So Im resentful that I cant have those cuddly mornings with my bf any more. If he would just put effort into training I know wed see a difference. I feel like she loves these cats more than she does me. Weve tried chili pepper in water and sprayed the carpet and we even went as far a getting habenero peppers in water and spraying the carpet with that. On top of that, one of the dogs has shown aggression to another dog and has mauled him very bad. Jennifer- I wound up listening to your advice. My boyfriend is constantly telling him to go lay down and go play and Beau just always cowers and walks away with his tail between his legs. But sometimes he doesnt even hug or cuddle with me so Im get upset that they dogs get more loving than I do. Who is going to care for it? To which she replies I thought you would. She did not approach the man even when he was waving a 45$ Steak. The problem is, I was bitten at 5 by a Rottweiler, I was lucky not to loose an eye. the bottom line, my wife does too much for her children, including caring for this cat, and i refuse to. Maybe you could talk to him if you have a fenced yard into doing the same as i did? He is abusing your dog and youre letting him. Hes quit jobs because he couldnt have the dog with him. Wanted to make my partner happy. He moved to a condo and let me stay in the house. Not a word to me. I feel like beau and I walk on eggshells every time hes around. Are you in CA? The first pup we obtained from a breeder passed away at 11 weeks old. My partner has never really been a fan of dogs (animals in general) but agreed to getting one to make me and the kids happy. She happened not to shed, more like a Chia pet with lots of grooming. Get it together. I have a medium size dog, 2 & half year old, who has always slept in bed with me. His dog gets sick also, it throws up every now & then. So now I find that every time we watch a movie or do anything shes right there on the couch with him while Im the third wheel. She has her own bed. But once its time to sleep she is right in my face panting and pawing. So you manage to get your partner to separate themselves from their dogs or perhaps even give them up? I am fine with (most) dogs but I absolutely cannot stand his dog anymore, its driving me crazy and giving me anxiety attacks! My Shi-poo was only about 1.5 yrs old. She is, in fact, the Best Dog in the World! If you guys have financial issues and live on a budget, your husband/boyfriend will attempt to rehome the dog since you cannot afford him anymore. Incorrect. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. They cannot make plans with you like a person can. Usually in the winter she stays in. But Ive been in love with him for years and was all ready to marry him by the time I found out his dislike of dogs. She became whiny , would cry every time we gave baby attention or even if hubby would change babys diapershe started barking louder whenever we come home from the store she stil allowed to sleep in our bedroom and it annoys me. Anyway, fast forward to this last girlfriend. I met my husband when had his dog, a female chihuahua for a few years and I was okay with it and I actually bonded with the dog till I fell pregnant and then all of her annoying habits got to me. My husband just seems to want me to do the same for him but without giving me anything in return, even a little bit of honesty about how he feels about things that matter to me. He had a large breed dog. Its interesting that the partners of dog fanatics are a mix of men and women. Im not a villain for not wanting to live my life covered in fur, and your statements are purposefully attacking people who dont side with your opinion.
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